When I was a young kid, my parents weren’t the hovering type that fed me nonsense of how great I was. In fact, my dad often told me how difficult things can be and that hard work is the only way to overcome obstacles. My mother would even inject the fear of warts if I touched a toad in the backyard.
Despite their affection for reality, I was a bit of a dreamer. I saw light shows in my eyelids when I shut them and I could get toads to crawl into my bug house, sometimes without touching them.
Around the age of seven, this made me feel unique and special. Like I was given gifts nobody else had. My inner dialogue made me believe I could kick a bad guy in the nuts and win the heart of any little lass who wandered by my wide-toothed smile.
Why did I think this? Good question.
While I was slightly sheltered about the vastneess of the world, I was afforded to watch a few Jim Carrey films, one of which has a particular stronghold on my subconscious. “Liar Liar,” wasn’t the biggest blockbuster hit for Carrey, but had a lasting impression on me. It showed me confidence on so many levels. Here’s what I learned and what I’ve carried with me.
Look the part
Jim Carrey’s lawyer persona was on point. Fine tailored suit, trimmed head of hair with properly placed follicles. He was confident and a pro and I’m convinced that because he looked good, he was good. Don’t you always have a better time out when you feel you’re on fleek?
Eye Contact
There is a scene when Carrey is walking down the hall and complimenting each coworker. What I noticed was his eye contact with each person. With eyes fixated on your subject, you’re indicating focused attention and concern. Remember conversations you’ve had in the past. Isn’t it annoying when someone is looking away from you while you’re conversing? Looking eye to eye also boosts people’s perception of your confidence subconsciously. It’s that boundary breaking moment where each participant gets a chance to dive into another’s mind and see vulnerabilities. Jumping into someone’s mind through eye contact is a very strong signal of confidence.
Wide Stance, Long Stride
Studies have shown leaders who are naturally confident take up more space in a room than others. It’s a subconscious way of taking ownership and the assumption is that the person afforded more space earns it. This happens in the animal kingdom as gorillas space consumption is a direct correlation to the tribal leader. Throughout the film, Carey makes huge gestures and strides with purpose. He always has a destination and goes straight there. His legs are wider set and hands flail when speaking. Christian Jarrett of the BBC wrote about this “gait” ideain great detail.
Relax
Before Carrey delivers his rebuttals in the courtroom, you can see him breath and go for it. Racing minds and hearts have a particular look; you can see anxiety through quick paced breathing. When this comes up, relax, realize there is nothing to lose, believe in yourself and trust the outcome. This is often easier said than done, especially when we may have inner dialogue bouncing us in different directions. But if you stick to what you believe in and not let stress and anxiety get in your way, things often have a way of working out. If not right away, later down the road.
Smile
Jim Carrey instills confidence in himself and others when he smiles. In another scene, he pinches off a toothy grin at a front desk gal who has a unique, plugged hair style. He was a bit taken back by her outrageous look but continued to smile and tell the gal how great she looked. The funny looking lady boasted a reciprocating large smile and the two were trapped in a smile war. Carrey’s smirk dictated the moment and it came off as smooth confidence. Next chance you get, try smiling in every room you walk into. Elevator, bedroom, office, bathroom. Make it a habit when you turn a knob and push through the door. I think you’ll enjoy the rewards that follow. Even the Mayo Clinic recommends a good smile and laughter.
If confidence is the act of being able to trust someone (yourself), then believing in you is crucial. Much of the detail above can be difficult if not practiced and applied. A great solution to becoming more confident like Jim Carrey, especially if it’s not natural, is an affirmation program. Positive self talk can help rewire how you think about yourself. Apply faith to the words you recycle in your mind and you’ll begin to trust yourself more and more. It won’t be “Liar Liar,” your perception will become a reality. What ways do you already grow your confidence?
